Real Humility vs. Coercive Humility (Video)
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Meet Shishi, the Chinese guardian lion. He stands guard outside building entrances, protecting the people from bad spirits and evil intentions.
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Being the guy who is willing to dig until I find the answer has built me a hell of an IT career. You’re right – today we have the vast, vast majority of human knowledge available for the taking, just a few keywords and clicks away. How cool is that? If you won’t take advantage of that you don’t deserve seniority or respect.
And yes, I’m old by your standards – 46. But I really don’t care. Age, race, socioeconomic status, none of that matters. The internet is the great leveler.
Results run the world. Nothing else. Learn to create results and you have surpassed most people who participate in mental masturbation by following the pack.
Interesting theory. My experience is not that humbleness is enforced by the boss, in order to keep his people in line. With the exception of really passive-aggressive bosses perhaps.
Humility is taught not by bosses, but by colleagues, friends and family. By pretty much all around us: “nobody likes a showoff” is not something your boss is going to say, typically.
The crucial observation is that in order to be humble you have to *undersell* your achievements. If you are neither humble nor a braggart you present your achievements accurately to the rest of the world, and that is frowned upon. So why is it that we are not supposed to speak frankly about our achievements?
I think the issue of humility is completely explained by the concept of Status Illegibility (as defined in http://www.ribbonfarm.com/2010/10/14/the-gervais-principle-iv-wonderful-human-beings/).
If I everybody in a group of friends (or family) speaks clearly about their accomplishments, then it becomes apparent who has accomplished a lot and who hasn’t. This establishes a clear hierarchy in the group, a ranking with the winners at the top and the losers at the bottom. Only the few at the top are happy with such a ranking, the others will feel resentment. So the group will become unstable and break apart (see linked article). This also explains why people typically find new friends when they become really successful (so successful that no amount of humility can conceal it). People don’t like to be confronted with the fact that their friends (or colleagues or family members) may be better than they are, so a social stigma forms against showcasing your achievements frankly and accurately.
Well put Brian,
I myself have trouble being modest because the culture I come from requires that whoever puts the most emotion into the story wins. No matter how big or small the story, or even having to be a story at all. …Plus when your at the bottom, sometimes the only way to make yourself feel good is to exaggerate the situation. Which is how I got through most of my life.
I’m not trying to give an excuse here. I agree that it is more important to be modest, especially the higher your status grows.
On another note (that also relates) my father always told me that “the honest man has nothing to worry about.” I’ve said that many times over the years and it helped me get through tough situations focusing on that if I am wrong in a situation or if my feelings are misunderstood, it becomes a learning opportunity (no matter how hard.) So it’s a win win motto regardless and if your honest with your emotions. Then who really cares what anyone else has to say? Just respect others feelings as well, especially if the crows requires it to be toned down.
Nice comment. Thanks for the link.
Cheers
I actually love this. In the end it’s all about what you can do, what you can contribute. Nothing else.
Weeeelllll, I do respect experience a lot. It’s not like, *applicably* useful a lot of the time (what with the rate of change being what it is) but it also grants perspective.
I agree, though, that being humble is a way to make the younger generation conform to “the way things are done.” Look at it this way; the troops have to be ‘paid’ and you have a whole generation who showed up and did what they were told, which makes both them, AND those in power extremely vested in putting your in your place.
Don’t let them stop you, but don’t ever expect them to like you for it. The old guard is dying, and they blame us.
I think you outline a very powerful point, Sebastian.
I think to supplement what you’ve said, which I do agree to some extent with, humility is often co-opted by the vain to supercharge their achievements.
I know of many people who have accomplished a lot, and will intentionally act humble, not because they are self-aware enough of their shortcomings or ignorance, but because they know others will be able to praise not only their achievements but also their character.
I find that sickening. It’s inauthentic and disingenuous.
Be humble because you are thoughtful and self-aware. Not so that others can inflate your ego even more.
-Carl
To be honest, the only thing I’m scared of is that you won’t like me or I’m not good enough.
I just want to take care of my family and help people. If that can happen that I will give the world.
Damn. I liked this.
Liberal arts strike again!
When I first heard of this idea about humility it was in the context of the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche in something he calls the master-slave morality, which is similar to what you just described (people on the top wanting everyone else to remain ‘humble’ for the ‘good’ of society).
Nietzsche says this is bullshit. He argues we are all capable to release immense levels of creativity through the ‘will to power’ (rising above the general herd instinct of the masses) and by living an unconventional lifestyle. However, VERY few people choose to do this. (According to Nietzsche it’s only something like one person a century).
Nietzsche’s philosophy is brilliant, but is also the most misunderstood of the many philosophers I have read. I’d highly recommend his books to anyone. On the Genealogy of Morality is a good one to start out with.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Genealogy_of_Morals
Your liberal arts friend and philosophy major, Amanda Hochstatter
All very good points. Thanks for sharing.