Two days ago I took a very hot bath. The place I'm staying has a large bathtub, and I sunk slowly into the scalding hot water, and thought. My mind moved this way and that way, drifting around, and I had some good ideas. I opened my eyes and got down to the details of the bath itself.
I scrubbed the dead skin off hard with soap, got out, dried off, and put on lotion, as described in "adding good skin at age 100 to goals."
This is not uncommon for me. I wrote in "Daydreaming" that my mind was wrecked, so I went to get a massage at a spa with essential oils, and then drank green tea and ate ginger.
I'm wearing light colors - sky blue, white, purple are among my favorite. I'll wear silks and cotton. I believe in being polite, friendly, maybe even a little lighthearted when with people most of the time. I don't take myself too seriously.
I think most guys are afraid to do this - to wear light colors, to go to a spa, to being silly and lighthearted, these traditionally feminine things. I think most guys go out of their way to appear tough, rugged, macho. And you know why? I think it's because most of 'em are soft on the inside, scared, powerless, aimless.
My philosophy is be as strong as steel on the inside, and light and gentle like silk on the outside. Strong/strong is too much, it's overwhelming. Weak/weak might work okay for a woman, but never for a man. No, I see guys acting tough, acting hard, posturing, and they seem like they're scared to me. Steel on the inside. Nails. Be a warrior, know combat, know how to handle your fists, how to handle firearms, how to protect people around you. Have ethics. Stand for something. Be strong.
And the stronger you get, the more lighthearted you can be. The more lighthearted you have to be. Look at Richard Branson during an interview sometime. He's often half slumped over, he's not casting his presence out as supremely powerful. On the inside, he's nails, for sure. But outside he's soft spoken, gentle, he smiles a lot, he dresses in frilly things sometimes. But he's almost certainly nails on the inside. I bet he's a visage of hell and misery if you wrong him. Well, I guess you could ask British Airways about that.
That's what I aim for. Be strong, don't act strong. Be carved out of steel, stand for something, be something. Then - it's okay to relax to gentle music, to speak softly, to wear silk or light colors, to go to a spa. Be gentle and soft externally, but forge your character out of steel, mold yourself in strife and suffering, become strong. Then - externally, be gentle. Soft. Slightly whimsical. Steel on the inside, silk on the outside.
There's a ton of reflection about the nature of strength in the Wheel of Time, fantasy series by Robert Jordan. Or, The Art of Power by Thich Nhat Hanh is also good reading - not a 14 book series haha...Just becoming cold steel by itself tends to lead one to becoming brittle and stiff; not very accommodating for life and easy to repel or push others away. I think in the books it was balanced off with a warmer sense of friendship, but similar idea as your silk. Cheers, great post
This is a really really good insight. Also resonates with a lot of historical Asian male lover archetypes, like in Tale of Genji, Dream of the Red Chamber, Pillow Book, Plum in the Golden Vase, etc.
Btw, one of the best parts about living in southeast Asia is the relatively cheap access to some amazing spa experiences. Hope you stick around these parts, my man!