My friend Chris gave me a copy of "Winning Through Intimidation" to read - wow. Just wow.
Title's misleading. It's actually about how not to be intimidated, and how to generally do good business by being prepared and ready. At least, I think that's what it is, I'm only halfway through.
Here's an excerpt from page 106-107. Bold added by me:
The lender went crazy. During the ensuing heated discussion he said two things that would ring in my ears for a long time to come and, consequently, help me to prepare for earning and receiving substantial money in the near future.
The first thing he said was: "You have a lot of nerve trying to earn $15,000 on one deal; why, you're only a broker."
Boy, did that ever make me see the light. My posture was all wrong; I was only a broker. I had no "right" to earn $15,000 on one deal. It was all right for the lender to earn that much - and more - for such "services" and "privileges" as "prepaid interest," "discount fees," and "prepayment penalties." It was all right for the lender simply because he had the right posture; he was dealing from a position of strength. People don't generally begrudge a wealthy man making money, but I was trying to violate an unwritten rule of business - the rule that a poor guy doesn't have the "right" to make money.
His second remark, however, was even more unbelievable: the lender said it was "unconscionable" for me to be charging a 3% brokerage fee for the placement of a second mortgage loan.
By that time I was at the point where I had to restrain myself from laughing out loud. [...] Here was a man who had built his fortune on the misfortune and financial desperation of others, who earned interests rates of 15% and more by using hidden charge gimmicks such as "prepaid interest," "discount fees," and "prepayment penalties," and who was now saying that it was "unconscionable" for me to make $15,000 on one deal.
Awesome stuff. The whole book's good. It's got lots of stories of the author coming up in the world in the 1970's, learning lessons, making mistakes, and generally being mistreated and abused by people in business until he started asserting himself more.
Book was updated and re-released a few years ago as "To Be or Not to Be Intimidated: That is the Question" - which seems like a much worse title to me, though probably more accurate and politically correct.
I've actually enjoyed the Oppenheimer bio (by Bird and Sherwin, won the Pulitzer) more than the Dirac book so far, so I would start there if I were you.
Thanks for the rec. I've added it to my list.
If you're looking for something else to read, I've been enjoying "The Strangest Man: The Hidden Life of Paul Dirac" lately. I guess I have something for the biographies of physicist. I've read about Oppenheimer and Feynman, and I have Einstein (the Isaacson one) on the shelf waiting for me.
Thanks Sebastian. I'll look at getting this book. They do not have it on audible.com unfortunately, but it's pretty cheap on Amazon. Will you do another post on this when you get to the end of the book?
To make a really long story really short, people feel an emotional need to be consistent with what they publicly commit to. Especially what they write about.
Do you know about the human need for consistency? I'm not going to explain it in detail here, I'm going to assume you already know the basics. If you don't, you probably should drop whatever you're doing for the next few hours and go read up on some articles about it because it has a massive impact on the entire world.
Here's a very brief overview:
In negotiation, consistency, or the consistency principle, refers to a negotiator's strong psychological need to be consistent with prior acts and statements.
My relationship with my 'father' has been a rather interesting one. For the majority of my life I would of classified myself as somewhat of a 'daddy's girl' simply because I was closer to him than to my mother. However, this was during the time where I was young (...younger) and rather deluded. I used to look up to him and respect him since no matter how you look at it, even now I still think this, he is a very skilled man capable of many things. A man of many talents.
But that has all changed. For quite a while I knew my 'father' was not the same person I thought he was or should be. Yes, he could build a table and fix the television but he couldn't hold a simple conversation without starting an argument or bringing up controversial issues or something he knew would agitate another person currently in the room. Yes, he could lift me and my sisters at the same time but he was also incredibly insensitive - on purpose possibly, and constantly made my mother cry.
And I guess now I see that all the positives matter very little if he cannot be the father I need him to be.
This is just going to be a post of me complaining and whining so if that doesn't interest you I recommend you stop reading now cuz seriously, this is gonna get reeeeaaaaall pathetic right about now ._.
A few days (around two...?) back, I told my family that I didn't want to go to this party that they insisted I attended. Honestly, I was just feeling really tired, really shitty and just not in the mood to deal with people that I didn't particularly like and who didn't particularly like me. In response to this little rebellious action of mine, I was told 'you are selfish, arrogant, all you do is cause us trouble, you're ungrateful and this is why no one likes you' etc. etc. etc.