My friend Chris gave me a copy of "Winning Through Intimidation" to read - wow. Just wow.
Title's misleading. It's actually about how not to be intimidated, and how to generally do good business by being prepared and ready. At least, I think that's what it is, I'm only halfway through.
Here's an excerpt from page 106-107. Bold added by me:
The lender went crazy. During the ensuing heated discussion he said two things that would ring in my ears for a long time to come and, consequently, help me to prepare for earning and receiving substantial money in the near future.
The first thing he said was: "You have a lot of nerve trying to earn $15,000 on one deal; why, you're only a broker."
Boy, did that ever make me see the light. My posture was all wrong; I was only a broker. I had no "right" to earn $15,000 on one deal. It was all right for the lender to earn that much - and more - for such "services" and "privileges" as "prepaid interest," "discount fees," and "prepayment penalties." It was all right for the lender simply because he had the right posture; he was dealing from a position of strength. People don't generally begrudge a wealthy man making money, but I was trying to violate an unwritten rule of business - the rule that a poor guy doesn't have the "right" to make money.
His second remark, however, was even more unbelievable: the lender said it was "unconscionable" for me to be charging a 3% brokerage fee for the placement of a second mortgage loan.
By that time I was at the point where I had to restrain myself from laughing out loud. [...] Here was a man who had built his fortune on the misfortune and financial desperation of others, who earned interests rates of 15% and more by using hidden charge gimmicks such as "prepaid interest," "discount fees," and "prepayment penalties," and who was now saying that it was "unconscionable" for me to make $15,000 on one deal.
Awesome stuff. The whole book's good. It's got lots of stories of the author coming up in the world in the 1970's, learning lessons, making mistakes, and generally being mistreated and abused by people in business until he started asserting himself more.
Book was updated and re-released a few years ago as "To Be or Not to Be Intimidated: That is the Question" - which seems like a much worse title to me, though probably more accurate and politically correct.
I've actually enjoyed the Oppenheimer bio (by Bird and Sherwin, won the Pulitzer) more than the Dirac book so far, so I would start there if I were you.
Thanks for the rec. I've added it to my list.
If you're looking for something else to read, I've been enjoying "The Strangest Man: The Hidden Life of Paul Dirac" lately. I guess I have something for the biographies of physicist. I've read about Oppenheimer and Feynman, and I have Einstein (the Isaacson one) on the shelf waiting for me.
Thanks Sebastian. I'll look at getting this book. They do not have it on audible.com unfortunately, but it's pretty cheap on Amazon. Will you do another post on this when you get to the end of the book?
To make a really long story really short, people feel an emotional need to be consistent with what they publicly commit to. Especially what they write about.
Do you know about the human need for consistency? I'm not going to explain it in detail here, I'm going to assume you already know the basics. If you don't, you probably should drop whatever you're doing for the next few hours and go read up on some articles about it because it has a massive impact on the entire world.
Here's a very brief overview:
In negotiation, consistency, or the consistency principle, refers to a negotiator's strong psychological need to be consistent with prior acts and statements.
My whole life I dreamed of the glamour of high school. I recall flipping through my older sister’s yearbook, pointing to the homecoming queen, and saying, “I am going to be just like her.” I can assure you that prophesy never came to pass. For the first few years of high school, I kept to myself, intimidated by others’ friendships that had existed before they could say each other’s names. I was a new girl in ninth grade, and even going on into my junior year, I still hadn’t found my niche. My dreams of being crowned homecoming royalty were completely shot down when I realized I would never get asked to a dance or go on any sort of date that I, myself, wasn’t paying for.
Here’s the kicker: I never thought I was unattractive or weird. Of course, I had my quirks like everyone else, but for the most part, I believed my ugliness remained in the past and, as the entirety of junior high seemed to be, just a bad dream.
I had just gone over the hump of my senior year in high school when I met him. He was in my clothing class, and his face wasn’t a new one to me. I had seen him since I moved there in ninth grade. He hung around the people I was never friends with, and he went to parties I was never invited to. Still, he never caught my eye, and he continued to never catch my eye as we gabbed while he made ridiculously hideous pajama pants. Although he was of an average height, he seemed lurpy. His blonde hair fell like a short curtain over his forehead, and he flipped it out of his eyes about every two minutes. Beady, blue eyes peeked from underneath his blonde drapery, and even though they were small, they were somewhat pretty.
We became friends.
Somehow we got entangled in a dare. Driving down the frontage road in our friend’s car, we stood up so we were out of the sunroof from the chest up, and we kissed. It was just a joke, and I never thought it was anything more. The next time, the encouragement for a kiss came from a stranger. Beady Blue Eyes and I sat on the top of a picnic pavilion in the middle of the night. Someone drove by and chanted for us to lock lips. I never thought Beady Blue Eyes had the guts, but before I knew it, his hand was on the back of my neck, and we kissed a kiss that lasted no more than two seconds. This was a joke too, I thought. We were no more than awkward friends that had been tricked into kissing two times now, and that’s that.